Love, Life, Lavins

Medusa

2012-01-26T11:41:00.000-08:00

My roommates used to lovingly (I hope??) call me Medusa because when I'd wake up my hair was CRAZY. I have naturally wavy/curly hair when it's wet. Since I have such a thick main, I usually showered at night and let it air dry while I slept. It would save me a good half of an hour blow drying it and it was healthier. The only problem is that the curls would run rampant during the night and literally look like snakes trying to jump off my head when I awoke.

It appears my poor son is inheriting my crazy wake-up hair At least you know that he had been sleeping well! :) He may be well rested, but his hair is not! Haha. I love it!

Also on a bright note--he is a champ nap taker now! I've learned that he has this little squawk he'll make when he's on the verge of being tired. If I get him right down, he usually goes to sleep without any help other than the bink. He can only stay up about an hour at a time and then sleeps 2-3 hours. What a great baby!

He May Hate Me For This

2012-01-23T21:32:00.000-08:00

...but he just looks sooo stinkin' cute. I've kept myself from buying him dorky little outfits like this (Claudy calls it his 'fruity teletubby suit') but someone who shall remain nameless (don't worry, they don't read my blog) got it for him and I just couldn't help but put him in it. And OF COURSE the camera was right near by.

It'd be nice and warm, but unfortunately he'll probably never wear it again because he'd be melting if he wore it inside and I'm too paranoid to take him out in the cold :)

At least I got some fun shots to show future girlfriends!! (When he starts dating around age 23).

And honestly, does it look like he minds that much??

And how freakin' grown up does he look in this last shot???? SLOW DOWN!!!

Beautiful Sunday Morning...Almost

2012-01-22T13:29:00.001-08:00

It was one of those mornings. The sun was streaming in, gleaming really, from the clean, fresh snow outside. We didn't have anywhere to go. Our bed was warm and comfy. Carter had woken up, so I went and brought him in between me and Claudy where we could just stare at and enjoy our little boy. It almost seemed magical. In fact, I thought I could almost here this song playing in the background.

That was until, I went to move Carter and my hand felt wet. Yep. Someone pooed the bed. Cut music.

Oh well...it makes for a funny memory. And that's life right? Finding the beautiful moments, between the time when crap hits the fan/bed?

Thank You For All The Help!

2012-01-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

Back when I knew someone that had a baby I thought telling them their baby was cute and saying congratulations was great. How little did I know! Of course that is still wonderful. But I have to admit that I'm kinda slow. I often don't think of ways to serve until it's happened to me. I also never realized how much having a baby takes out of you! Sadly, I'm one of those 'don't get it until you go through it' kinda people.

For example, on top of people bringing us meals, one stopped and chatted for awhile and held him to give me a break. One friend brought me crystal lite because she remembered that I like it. One brought me some breastfeeding equipment and tips that helped her, along with a homemade smoothie. Another 'just happened to be across the street' with a dessert from Kneaders. Not to mention many texts, calls, visits, and even encouraging Facebook and blog messages. You see...?

I have felt so overwhelmingly supported and blessed after having Carter. It's made me realize that I should really step my game up. That's one thing I love about service. When you're blessed to be around those who are better at serving than you--they not only serve you, they teach you.

So many times in my life I've received a nice card, help, support, friendship...etc. in creative and thoughtful ways I would have never thought about. I'm not very creative when it comes to service, but I am so grateful there are others who have this as a talent. I sure hope they rub off on me! I am so grateful for those times because they not only lifted me, but they then showed me how to do it so I could turn around and do the same. I really can and hope to do better this year by turning into one of these people and not always being on the receiving end.

Isn't it Ironic?

2012-01-20T12:53:00.000-08:00

Atlantis Morsette had it right when she sang "Isn't it ironic". I keep getting frustrated when Carter won't nap because I need time to read a book about getting your baby to sleep. haha...

I'm currently reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. I'm loving all of the research, but it's taking me forever to get through it. I could hurry and skip to the parts I need, but I'm a dork and afraid I'll miss something. Guess that's where Carter gets it from--he doesn't want to miss anything either!

But it's OK cuz it's very educational--I love learning new things. It's so fascinating how sleep really does affect you. I would know--between a baby who doesn't want to sleep and a husband who is a severe narcoleptic I see how it affects us. Here's to better nap and night sleeping...and more patience :)

Goody Goody Gum Drops

2012-01-18T04:05:00.000-08:00

I have wonderful news. In fact, I'm just beaming about it. Thrush has decided to come back. Which is great, really, because I was starting to miss it. It's like being tickled and is so enjoyable. I can't think of any other sensation that would make breastfeeding better. I am overjoyed about having to be on medication again. When I drank my water the past week while I was off of it, I really ached for pills to swallow. And, I'm sure Carter longed for syringes to be shoved in his mouth as well. I hope that this stays around for as long as possible. It's like an old friend has come back for an extended stay. And what do you do when that happens? Throw open your welcoming arms.

By the way, today is opposite day.

Frumpy Buns

2012-01-16T10:26:00.001-08:00

Apparently, I seem to like to come up with new things to worry about. As if there isn't enough--I have found a new one!

Now that I'm home all day I have yet to decide how much I want to get ready. Silly, right? But do I still think about it? Yes!

I don't want to be this frumpy house wife. I don't want my husband to come home and be grossed out (not that he'd ever say anything). However, I have a really hard time wanting to get ready! It kinda seems pointless when I'm not going anywhere and only a 7 week old sees me.

I'm trying to find a happy medium. But, I always worry that I will 'let myself go'. I want to always be attractive to my husband and feel good about myself, which I feel comes from taking care of yourself. But, I want to not waste my time either :) I'm surprised at how I went from corporate wear to enjoying being in my sweats. I'm a little disgusted at myself at just how much I adore my yoga pants. And I will not allow myself to admit just how many days in a row I wore them.

One of the things I find myself doing just about every day is a bun. I have naturally wavy hair, so I can't just leave it down and I don't want to go to the trouble to curl or straighten it. I found this clip (go to the 4 minute mark) from King of Queens about buns and thought it was funny. Hopefully Claudy doesn't feel the same!

Claudy assures me that I look good without makeup and not getting ready and that he does not care. He says to not stress myself and to do what I want. I guess I just have to determine what I want--which can always be a little difficult :)

Image taken from here.

I Must Subdue the Night Creature

2012-01-14T21:16:00.001-08:00

I just love Tina Fey. Has anyone read her book, Bossypants? I'd like to. I saw this clip the other night and thought she explained night sleeping with a baby quite eloquently.

Enjoy this clip--start watching it at 5:20.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39-jMKBP7jY

Bout Time Apple Pie

2012-01-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

What do you get a guy that cleans out the fridge and cleans the oven without being asked on his day off? His favorite dessert of course!

Sadly, even though we've been married 4 years, I've never made him one of his favorite desserts: apple pie. Of course, I've filled his belly with plenty of other homemade goods, but I never dared make a pie because it seemed too hard and not worth the effort (e.g. I don't really care for them).

However, my awesome friend Yesenia got me a food processor to make homemade baby food and I saw an easy way to make pie crusts using your food processor so I decided to give it a whirl.

I also found an easy apple pie filling that uses apple sauce. It appeared as though the stars had aligned.

I actually like it and so does Claudy, but after a little prodding he says it's too applesauce-y. I think I rolled the crust too thin, but I still like the crust recipe. I had really wanted to try a lattice pattern and the crunch top, but the babe would not nap! Next time!

I hope Claudy liked the pie, at least knowing that I made it special for him, because he does so many sweet things for me that he deserved a sweet treat too.

Here's the filling recipe, and here's the crust recipe (it's towards the bottom of the page).

Now that I am open to pies, let me know your favorite pie recipes. It's like opening up a new baking world!

Growth Spurt

2012-01-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

No wonder Carter was wanting to eat a lot last week! At his 2 week appointment he measured 20 inches. Then, just 4 weeks later he was measuring 24 inches. I can't believe he's 2 feet at just 6 weeks. And that he grew 4 inches so fast! He went from the 50 percentile to the 95 percentile in height.

I wouldn't mind if this trend kept up and then he becomes mommy's ball player. I also wouldn't mind being taken care of in my old age by the millions he's made. Mommy wouldn't mind a gold wheelchair in a Malibu rest home someday.

Remember who gave you the nutritious milk that made you grow :)

Gracias Madres!

2012-01-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave me comments and advice on my last post. I implemented quite a bit of your tips and last night was better!

Also--while we're on good news. I think I can FINALLY say that we've got breastfeeding down. It only took me 6 weeks, but hallelujah! I'm glad I stuck it out. It's definitely a commitment that I still struggle with--the whole feeling tied down and wishing Claudy or someone else could feed him, but I know it's worth it and I'm glad we've over the hump. I appreciate your advice and motivation on that topic as well!

How did people be moms before the internet??

A Little..OK a LOT of Help in the Sleep Department Needed

2012-01-10T03:07:00.000-08:00

Well--it's almost 4 in the morning, so you can guess what this post will be about: SLEEP! Or, the lack thereof. So I hope this is coherent :) It's about all I can think about. It's like I crave it and am addicted because it's constantly on my brain and I'm always asking myself 'how can I get more sleep??'.

While some of you may say that Carter is too young (7 weeks in a few days) to be sleeping through the night, Babywise, and other moms have lead me to believe that he should be able to, if not close to. I realize it could still be a little while, and that's OK. It's par for the course, but...I want to make sure I'm on track/doing good habits to get me there. So, I have a few questions, because I feel like Babywise isn't specific and I'm a details kind of gal. Please note I'm open to any advice even if it's not Babywise--that's just the only book I've had time to read :)

Questions:

How do you get them to sleep? I try to put him down around 10 p.m. I know that may be late, but Babywise lead me to believe that you can put them on your schedule. Since Claudy works late, I'd like him to be able to see Carter when he gets home and I'm more of a late nighter--sleep in late type, so I was hoping to get Carter on this schedule. However, it seems like I try putting him down at 10 and he'll only sleep about 10-15 minutes before waking and crying. I go in, soothe him (sometimes picking him up, or putting the binky back in, or tickling his face) and put him back down. This goes on until about midnight. He seems to only really fall asleep at this self directed bed time. Too late!

How does he just all of the sudden not wake to eat? I have always on demand fed him at night, so as not to encourage him to wake while he should be sleeping. But, like clockwork he always wakes for a feeding around 3 a.m. I know it must be hunger because he takes a full feeding from each breast (right??). How is he just all of the sudden (while growing leaps and bounds) not going to want to do this? Will he just stop one night and be OK without it? This doesn't make sense to me. He then again, like clockwork wakes at 7ish to eat and then pretty much won't go back down. I've also heard that until they're a certain weight (I've heard differing amounts from 12-15 pounds) that technically they need to be eating at night and aren't hefty enough to go that long without a feeding. I've also heard it can affect your milk supply if they don't eat at night??

How do I get him to nap/how long should he be napping for? He is the most alert and wide awake baby I've met. I do the eat-activity and then instead of following it up with sleep it's stay-awake mode! If he naps, it's only for about 10-15 minutes. He just loves being awake and starring at the world around him. Which stinks for me since everyone says 'nap when they nap'. So basically I only get a nap if I'm at my moms--which is about twice a week.

Things he does well according to Babywise:

He goes back down well after his 3 a.m. feeding--so technically he sleeps from about 12-7 with just one waking/feeding period. I can't figure out why he goes down well for this and not any other time, but am grateful! He may still be stirring/grunting but he at least doesn't cry and eventually falls asleep on his own.

He always does a full feeding and doesn't snack. During the day we're on a good 3 hour schedule where he always drains both breasts.

He is good at staying awake after a feeding for an activity play time. He sometimes drifts off towards the end of the feeding but I can always wake him up.

He's been in his own crib since about 3 weeks.

I'll rock him or hold him until his eyes are drooping, but I am always sure to lay him down while he's still slightly awake so that he can learn to drift off on his own.

That's about it (but I am grateful for them)!

Any advice would be appreciated. Especially, because Claudy has been diagnosed with severe narcolepsy. I've been meaning to post about this, but not sure where to start since it's a long story. However, with Claudy being in school again and working it's important he get sleep. No matter how I try to be quiet, and swoop in and grab Carter before he makes too much noise it always wakes Claudy. Carter needs to start sleeping through the night really for Claudy's sake (and I wouldn't mind either!)

Thanks all! Your comments are always appreciated :)

Best Christmas in Awhile

2012-01-08T11:28:00.001-08:00

I am in the process of printing my blog (from blurb.com--if you have any better suggestions, let me know!) since sadly it's the only journaling I've done since we've been married.

While going through it and making sure that all posts were print worthy (not many!), I realized a pattern. I mostly posted about opinions/silly stuff/money and worry issues and not enough recap/life events.

So--I've got to do better! I was grateful to see what has been on my mind the last three years (better than nothing), and to realize that I can do better and focus on higher things! It was a very worthy activity for the first of the year.

Hence--let's talk about Christmas, even though it was a few weeks ago. Or, rather I'll write and you read?

It was the best Christmas we've had in awhile. As many of you know, my brother passed away two years ago right before Christmas so this time of year is a hard time for my family. On top of that, my dad was out of work, so that was also a stress/downer.

However, I decided to bless Carter on Christmas. For those of you not familiar with the LDS faith and the tradition of giving them a name and a blessing you can read this info (Sorry--couldn't find a better statement about the procedure and I only have so much time before the babe wakes!)

He's our holiday baby! Born on Thanksgiving and blessed on Christmas. I was nervous about doing it with him so small still and RSV season, but I thought it'd be wonderful to kill two birds with one stone and have our Grandparents here for Christmas and for his blessing. Both sets of my Grandparents live in St. George during the winter which is about a 3.5 hour drive, so that way they wouldn't have to make the drive twice during the winter.

Of course, about 1.2 minutes after sitting down in the chapel, a little snotty nosed kid leans over the front pew and sneezes in Carter's direction. I about chucked a hymnal at him while simultaneously peeing my pants. I was like 'Just great! Watch him get sick and it's all my fault for wanting to do this so soon!' Thankfully he's been fine--but he hasn't been back to church since!

Unfortunately, only my Grandma and Grandpa Egbert were able to make it to his blessing. It is a wonderful experience to see your husband, a worthy priesthood holder, take your baby in his arms and exercise his priesthood. It was a tearful and humbling occasion for sure!

We dressed him in a little suit, because I think the tradition of putting babies in all white is BORING and dull. Sorry. But it's true. Unless it's little girls and they can have these flowy dresses, white on little boys is bleh.

He was sooo good. We took his binky up to make sure he wouldn't cry and he spit it out and was just content to sit there. He was a champ! Unfortunately, said binky went on the floor. And bless some sisters heart, but she retrieved it only to pop it back in my sons mouth. I shivered with disgust and said a quick prayer that she wiped it off before she did that. Thoughts of microbials and germs washed over me and I wished she hadn't done that, but I know she was trying to be helpful. (Yes, I'm THAT paranoid mother). We had my dad, Claudy and my Grandpa Egbert in the circle. Four generations of great men! I'd like to think my brother, and part of Carter's namesake was there as well watching over us. Afterwards, there's a tradition of holding the baby up for the congregation to see. I thought it was sweet, because Claudy let my father do it. Carter was wide eyed and just gave his beautiful eyes to the audience. You could hear a huge "aw". While that happens with every baby--I'd like to think mine was more audible! :)

His uncle Tyrone and cousin Parker were also able to attend and watch which we really appreciated.

I REALLY enjoyed going to church on Christmas and wish we would do it every year! I'm seriously tempted to start attending Catholic mass on Christmas Eve. It's wonderful to sing hymns and worship on the Savior's birthday. It just made the day for me. It was nice to get dressed up and turn our thoughts to the real reason instead of lounging in my pjs all day.

We only stayed for a few hymns and then left since we didn't want people touching or breathing on him cuz he's THAT irresistible. While my church believes in having clean hands and a pure heart--I doubt the validity of the clean hands part during cold season! Of course he totally messed his pants a few minutes after taking him home, so just about everyone undressed while we were busy cleaning him up and feeding him. He even managed to get it on his shoes. Being a true St. Germain (Claudys birth last name) he wore sneakers with his suit. Claudy and his brother are what you would call sneaker heads and collect copious amounts of sneakers. Claudy was upset, and I'm sure as soon as Carter is old enough Claudy will be showing him how to take better care of his kicks! :) I was a little sad because I wanted us all dressed up for our pics, but that's OK. As you'll see sprinkled throughout the post, we still obviously took pics and didn't let that stop everyone from having a turn with Carter for pics. His fancy suit and good looks made up for everyone else :) And of course, the only family pic of us 3 was blurry. Bummer!

We then opened up stockings from my parents. I know my parents may have felt bad that we didn't have a ton to open this year, but it was seriously such a treat to have my family together and to have Carter blessed that day. That was my gift. I could have cared less!

Growing up we were blessed to always have Christmas with both sets of Grandparents. Since my parents moved from Idaho about 8 years ago we haven't had that since. Christmas with 4-5 people just isn't the same as with your extended family! It was too much/too hard to drive to see each other I guess. So, having my Grandparents there on Christmas was super special. Especially because they were crying and ooh-ing and aw-ing over Carter like crazy. It was such a special time to share that with them. Carter is so loved! PS--sorry I'm saying special every other word--there's just not a better way to describe it :)

We had a nice Christmas dinner in which Claudy's adopted brother Tyrone was able to come to. That was also a very nice addition that we haven't had before. While we live in Utah with Tyrone, we hardly see each other due to our schedules. It was great to have Claudy's side of the family participate in a holiday with us! Since he only has two adopted brothers out here, and the rest of his family is on the East coast, I always feel bad that he doesn't get to spend the holidays with his side.

Afterwards, his other brother, Craig and his wife came and saw Carter as well and it was great to visit with them. Forgot to get pics with them :(

That's what the holidays are about! It's not the ribbons and bows--but seeing those we love. The day was so full and great. Seeing so many people and spending time with our family made it such a special day.

Afterwards, me and Claudy stayed four extra days past Christmas. It was so great to spend extra time with my parents, and be able to nap/have help with Carter. Claudy actually works about 15 minutes from my parents house, and he picked up some extra early shifts, so it was nice that he didn't have as far of a commute from their house as well.

My Grandma Sargent came down a few days later and got to see Carter for the first time as well. It was nice to see her and spend time with her as well. That completed seeing both sides of my family (for the most part) and hopefully we can see the Lavins this spring!

I was a little sad when it was time to come back to our apartment because it had just been so nice and relaxing.

I am grateful for such a nice holiday, full of family, love...and the great food didn't hurt either :) Guess I should stop eating like I'm pregnant!

I know the holidays will only get better as Carter gets older and understands it. He already had the most presents--and he was just a month old :) I look forward to many more spectacular holidays.

Ohh...

2012-01-07T21:26:00.001-08:00

Wish I would have seen this a few weeks ago. So THIS is how you care for your baby ;)

If You Give a Mom a Muffin

2012-01-06T13:58:00.000-08:00

This short story is so me--minus the 5 and 2 year old. I jump from one task to another--sometimes without finishing the first! I just want to pick up and clean up everything in my path and get so easily distracted because (it seems that) there's so much to do.

IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN

by Kathy Fictorie

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of cocoa to go with it. She'll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the cocoa. She'll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper. She'll look for her cookbook. The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old. She'll smell something funny. She'll change the two-year-old. While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for cocoa. Thinking of cocoa will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of cocoa, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Tears

2012-01-04T18:37:00.001-08:00

While I hate to hear my lil boy be upset, I wanted to capture his little cries on camera since I know he'll be big before I know it. Thankfully he doesn't cry much--just when he wants to eat or be held, both of which are easy remedies.

2012 Goals

2012-01-03T07:56:00.001-08:00

What a great year 2011 was. I think it will be hard to top! It's started with lots of travel, and then my job promotion in the middle, and then ended with having Carter. It will be a year to be remembered for sure.

As I look forward to 2012 I have decided to simply my resolutions/goals. I usually have too many and we've seen where that's gotten me. So instead of the usual (not that there is anything wrong with these if they are yours, I just know myself and know I need to limit it to get anything done) loose weight, eat healthier, get up earlier goals I'm going to just have these three:

1. Be a great mom to Carter.

2. Be a supportive and loving wife.

3. Read my scriptures everyday.

I know that these are general. But I've decided that's the point. I tend to over-schedule, over-complicate my life of things that I "have to get done".

Instead, I'm going to use these as priorities. I figure, if these are always on the top of my list, and if these rule the decisions and actions I take this year, then everything else will fall into place. These three things truly matter because they involve the two people that matter most to me. And what is more important than putting your family first and then making sure that you have the spirit in your life?

I look forward to Claudy graduating this year. I look forward to Carter rolling over, crawling and eventually walking. I'm sure this year will be full of milestones. I can't even guess where we'll be in a year. I'd like to guess and say we'll be out of Utah and onto grad school, or at least living somewhere and working before grad school to get in-state tuition. But, watch me be on this same couch, in this same room. Who knows??

I look forward to the growth and exciting times (and hopefully some travel!) ahead that 2012 will inevitably bring and hope that I can rise and meet these times and learn from them what I am supposed to.

I'm grateful to see another year and say bring it on!

The Best Bread Pudding

2012-01-02T07:18:00.001-08:00

This was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

My dad's birthday is the day after Christmas. Talk about being jipped! I always feel bad for him when it comes to gifts and celebrating. So--since my gift was making him dinner I wanted to still give him something yummy, but that was different from all of the billions of other Christmas treats he's had all month long.

This was traditional, yet different since this dessert seems to be forgotten most of the time.

It's sweet. It's warm. It's caramel-licious. It's comforting and it goes to a whole 'nuther level when you put vanilla ice cream on it.

I knew when I saw the name Paula Deen it'd be three things:

1. Full of butter

2. Full of sugar

3. Full of yummyness

It did not disappoint. My dad even had it for breakfast the next day!

This is a new family favorite, sure to be put in the dessert rotation--especially when we're sick of cakes and other day in-day out sweets.

The Best Bread Pudding

Taken from Paula Deen's website.

Servings: 8 to 10 servings
Cook Time: 50 min
Difficulty: Easy

2 cups granulated sugar
5 large beaten eggs
2 cups milk
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3 cups cubed Italian bread, allow to stale overnight in a bowl (I forgot to do this and it was still great)
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, softened
1 cup chopped pecans (even if you're not a nut person, this gives great textural difference from the softness of the pudding--just go for it!)

For the sauce:
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
1 egg, beaten
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup brandy (I left this out)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 13 by 9 by 2-inch pan.

Mix together granulated sugar, eggs, and milk in a bowl; add vanilla. Pour over cubed bread and let sit for 10 minutes.

In another bowl, mix and crumble together brown sugar, butter, and pecans.

Pour bread mixture into prepared pan. Sprinkle brown sugar mixture over the top and bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until set. Remove from oven.

For the sauce:
Mix together the granulated sugar, butter, egg, and vanilla in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir together until the sugar is melted. Add the brandy, stirring well. Pour over bread pudding. Serve warm or cold.

BIG Boy!

2012-01-01T16:39:00.000-08:00

Someone is getting BIG! He's 9.6 now (born at 7.9) and is getting soo long! He almost touches both sides of his crib. And look at this outfit--it's a belly shirt when he stretches. While I'm sure he has the fame and clout to bring this 80's fashion trend back, I think I'll just tuck it away--no need to re-live that awful fashion! He outgrew another outfit the other day as well. It's crazy to try and put it on him and suddenly find things tight.

He's also staying up for longer and longer periods and is being so active. He used to only move his arms, but now he's really into kicking and holding his legs up. Lil C probably has more abs now than I do! :)

So glad he is happy, healthy and growing. I'm so excited to see him grow and develop--but I want him to stay small forever...is that doable??

New Mommy Truism #6

2011-12-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

The nice thing about mommyhood is that you're not alone.

This hilarious writer, Julia, who I had the pleasure of being in the same freshman ward and floor with describes motherhood with striking precision.

I'll just say she covers it.

While I haven't experienced the vomit yet, I cringe because it's like waiting for the other shoe to drop...I know it will happen. Not when, but where.

I tip my hat to you Julia. Tip my hat.

Hurting Myself 256 Times and Counting...

2011-12-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

I figure I've fed him (since he's on a three hour schedule) approximately 256 times since he's been born. That's 256 times of voluntarily hurting myself. I'm beginning to think I'm crazy. Isn't the definition of crazy doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

I am sooo frustrated. Beyond frustrated. Remember my little rant about breastfeeding? Well, here's part II.

I became aware that me and Carter had thrush--which is basically an infection for those who are not familiar. It's loads of fun. And by fun I mean excruciating pain.

We got on an antibiotic--nystatin, both the oral medication for him and a cream for me and him. We took it faithfully for 7 days.

It was still hurting. But, I figured maybe it's my latch since we had done the prescribed 7 days. Then the holidays happened where I couldn't get a hold of the lactation specialists or my Dr. I finally got a hold of them today and they think that I still have thrush. They think the nystatin did not kill it and that I need a stronger antibiotic.

GOODY!

So basically, breastfeeding has never felt OK. He's almost 5 weeks old and between the start-up pain and then the thrush we've had for almost 2 weeks I've been in constant pain since he was born.

It hurts when I feed him and then never stops stinging and burning.

This is the cruelest joke known to females.

I dread every three hours. It comes sooo fast.

I just want to feel good.

I'm trying so hard and it just isn't getting any better.

I don't want to get on ANOTHER medication. I don't even want to go to the store. I'm sick of trying new things. That takes energy. I've even tried a natural remedy--grapefruit seed extract. I've adjusted my diet--eating lots of yogurt and cutting out dairy and yeast and sugar. I just want to be lazy and enjoy my holiday and not be in pain anymore.

I'm trying to 'be a good mom' and breastfeed--but I'm bout ready to throw in the towel.

That or punch a hole in the wall every time I feed.

This just plain sucks.

I hate thrush--and right now, I'm hating breastfeeding. I keep telling myself I've got to clear it up anyways, and to keep going to see if it's actually enjoyable once the infection is gone, but I just don't know if I can hang tight until then.

Ridiculous.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T17:49:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to you and yours from the Lavins.

Getting Big: 1 Month

2011-12-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how to count the months--by the actual day (24th) or by weeks (4 weeks)? I'm so excited my lil man is getting big, that we'll go with 4 weeks for now.

Lil' C is still little! He still fits into his newborn outfits and size one diapers have to be cinched on. To my despair and best efforts (literally killing my chest!) he is not gaining a ton of weight. I always figured I'd have a chub, but perhaps this is still to come...he must have his dad's metabolism.

He still ADORES his hands. From the first few moments of life he seems to have quite an attachment. Most of the time they frustrate him because he can't seem to keep them in his mouth. He also seems to like gouging his face and eyes with them, which I haven't figured out how to stop him from doing. You would think it'd hurt! He's been able to put them in his mouth since about two weeks which I was pretty impressed! Since about day 3 we've never been able to swaddle him with his arms by his side. His hands had to be swaddled up by his face, and at about two weeks he's been strong enough to bust his entire arm out, so now we just swaddle him from the arm pits down. His little hands are always so cold and wet when I get him in the night from being sucked on.

He's figured out he can move his head back and forth to avoid us using the nose bulb--hence, here comes the first rebellion and shying away from what we want him to do. It was so much easier when he could only lay there! He's usually congested at night and always scares mom because he sounds so congested breathing, snorts and has tons of boogers (sorry if that's TMI). We've put a humidifier in his room and used saline nose drops but it only seems to help marginally. I hope once the air quality in stupid Utah gets better that will help.

We think he's going to be right handed, because that's the one he swings around more.

He seems to really like car rides and sleeps the entire way to and from Grandma's house (about an hour).

He's quite active and alert. I thought he'd only be a bump on a log--but he loves being awake--especially when there is light to look at.

He can hold his head up for what seems like an eternity. I heard at a month it'd only be to about a 45 degree angle and for a few seconds, but he'll go forever!

He loves to be swaddled on mom in my wrap--and sometimes that's the only way I dare cook or clean so I don't have to stop every few minutes and console him--because of course once I start something that is when he wakes up!

He's on a pretty good 3 hour schedule during the day. We're trying to follow the eat, activity and then sleep schedule which he can do most of the time, but that milk sure seems to make him tired.

He also seems to like to sleep when it's time to eat! Sometimes it takes me an hour to get in a full feeding and I'm exhausted afterwards because I have to sit and tickle and tickle him to wake up. It's more like swallow, sleep, swallow sleep. But, almost a sure fire way to wake him is to just set him down. If he's hungry and gets set down he will scream! I can't wait until I can just feed him when he seems hungry--because he likes to sleep right when it's been three hours.

He is also our little squeaker. He makes sooo many squeaking and squawking noises. He also likes to grunt a lot which is hilarious. When he does cry--which thankfully only seems to be when he wants to be held or eat, but those are easy remedies--it's more of an angry yell than anything like "how dare you!". He also seems to always say "GEE!" when he's winding up and makes these big bursts of air.

He makes THE cutest faces when he's sleeping. He seems to practice all of his facial expressions when he's napping. He is smiling more and more when he's awake and I just can't get enough. I was able to catch this on camera, although it doesn't do it justice. When his eyes are open and he's smiling it melts your heart!

He loves to have his lips pursed when he's starring off. I have yet to get this on camera, but it's adorable.

He's gone a few stretches of four hours during the night, and even five hours the last two nights. I on demand feed him at night, because I don't want to wake him and encourage him to be up at night.

He's a voracious eater too! I feel like he just goes and goes! If we give him a bottle--which we do every once in awhile since we've had thrush and other 'fun' issues, he gulps down 4 ounces.

He seems to be liking baths more--at least at first. After a minute or two though, once the cold air has hit him he's ready to be done!

He still HATES getting his diaper changed--has from day one. It's almost as if when he sees the changing table he gets upset. Not even putting a binki in works--he is so upset he can't keep it in. I think it's a mixture of being naked and exposed. We even got a wipe warmer to see if that would help. I'm afraid he's just going to have to get used to it.

I've always said he's a good baby--however, the older he gets the more he seems to want to be held, and the last few nights he's had crying fits from about 11pm-1am which he hadn't done before, he was only crying when it was time to eat. During the night, I used to set an alarm, but he is my alarm. He's almost on the dot for 3 hour feedings.

His favorite place to sleeps is on his belly on our chest. We sometimes spoil him and do this when he can't be consoled, but try not to make it a habit and place him back in his crib once he seems sleepy enough.

At first I was anti-binki...but we've given it to him when nothing else works and he seems to be using it more and more and so he is more and more hooked! The very thing I didn't want to happen. Ug. Guess you have to give up some battles and ideals. You can think all you want when you're reading parenting books, but when the rubber meets the road it's a whole other story.

And this may be too much info (are you still even reading this blogosphere?) but because this is the only thing I've managed to write so far about him and I've yet to purchase a journal for him--I'm going to make it thorough! I guess becoming a big boy means big poop because he had his first blowout yesterday--which I hear is pretty lucky to have made it a month.

I'm so torn. I love seeing him get bigger and I just can't wait to see what things stick with his looks (will his hair be curly or straight, will he get any darker, will his eyes stay blue...??) but at the same time I want him to stay little forever.

I so thought infants were boring and always said that I wish they'd come out at the toddler stage. But it's so true that it's different when it's your own. I just love loving on him and holding him. I love that he'll let me cuddle him.

I feel like this month has flown. I haven't missed work at all (which I wondered if I would) and love being at home with my beautiful little boy! When he was still in the bassinet, I would roll over and look at him, and then look at Claudy and just love being in the middle of a C &C sandwich. I feel so content and so blessed to have such amazing boys in my life.

New Mommy Truism #5

2011-12-22T20:42:00.000-08:00

You know you're a new mom when all catch yourself singing all of the songs from your child's toys. I don't think I'll ever get these outta my head! Frère Jacques...Frère Jacques...

Crib vs. Bassinet

2011-12-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

Carter slept in his crib the entire night last night. I was a little sad. I always talked a big talk (surprising!) that I'd cart Carter off to his crib after a few days of being home. But...here we are, three and a half weeks later.

I'm torn though. It's nice to not have him squeaking and making noises so close to us (is this a sign he's going to be talkative like me?). However, it is also nice to have him so close, so all I have to do is roll over and grab him.

I can't decide what's worse, having his noises keep us up, or having to stumble into his room every time he cries.

Decisions, decisions!

When did all of you start putting your babes in the crib?

New Mommy Truism #4

2011-12-18T12:20:00.000-08:00

Babies may be the only ones who don't mind morning breath. They're quite delighted when you get close no matter the hour, or the stench. :)

Andes Mint Brownies

2011-12-17T08:49:00.001-08:00

So, I haven't been myself since having Carter when it comes to the kitchen. Normally I'm baking up a storm for the holidays, but I've made myself take a break and just focus on motherhood. It's hard for me to not fill up my plate (pun intended!) but I think it's been good for me to just focus on the transition and not overwhelm myself.

However, we got invited to a dinner party, and I hate showing up empty handed, plus it was the host's birthday and you should NOT have to make dessert on your birthday. I wanted to go with something easy and yummy. Mostly, because I'm still paranoid that he'll cry right when I'm in the middle of cooking or baking. I know I need to get back to it, because it's part of who I am, and it's a hobby I really enjoy--but I have these worries that he'll need me right when I've touched raw chicken or the timer goes off. I know they can just cry for a bit, but I'm a first time mom! So, we've been having easy things like Hamburger Helper. You know...

Anyways, back to this YUMMY recipe. I normally love mint brownies that have a green, mint frosting--but I didn't want to take the time to make it. This worked GREAT instead. I just made a box brownie mix, but you can make it from scratch following the original recipe. This recipe makes plain brownies burst with some mint action. All you have to do is grab a bag of Andes Mints, put around 20 on top of the freshly baked brownies and swirl around with a spatula until they're melted. Also--if you want even more mint flavor, put chopped up Andes mints and throw that in the batter. These are minty, chewy and delicious. Great with ice cream or plain.

If a new mom can make these--you can too!

Andes Mint Brownies Recipe

taken from Lovin' From the Oven

Ingredients:

1 cup butter
2 cups sugar (white)
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup all purpose flour
½ cup cocoa
½ teaspoon salt
about 1/4 cup (or however much you please, really) of chopped Andes mints (you can buy them already chopped by the chocolate chips in the baking isle)
An additional package of whole Andes mints (I used about 20--a little less than a bag)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease 9 x 13 pan. Melt butter in saucepan over low heat. Once melted remove from heat and add sugar, vanilla, and eggs. Blend together. In separate bowl, mix together flour, cocoa, and salt. Add dry mixture to the wet and mix well. Add chopped Andes mints. Pour into greased pan and bake for 35-40 minutes.

RIGHT when the brownies come out of the oven, layer the top with the whole package of Andes mints (or however many it takes to cover the surface). Let them stand for a minute or two, until they are smooth enough to spread. Using a frosting spatula or a flat knife, spread the melted Andes mints evenly over the brownie to cover. Cool, cut and enjoy.

To Grandmother's House We Go

2011-12-14T21:23:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness for my parents. People keep asking me how I'm doing and I reply honestly that I feel I'm doing better than expected--in fact, pretty great! Perhaps it's because I had such low expectations, but I was so worried that I would fall apart being a new mom. I think a big part to my success is due to the incredible support I've received from friends and family.

Claudy had a GENIUS idea while we were in the hospital; I don't know why we never thought of it during the entire pregnancy. Claudy commutes quite a bit to work. However, he works about 15 minutes from my parents house. I had wondered how much I'd be able to get help from my mom as there is no where for her to stay at our apartment and being basically an hour away didn't make it so I could just run over there or vice versa.

But, if Claudy was already going that way--what was 15 more minutes? And that way--I wouldn't be alone without help Either Claudy would be home, or I'd be with my parents. So, just about any time Claudy works (I'm now weaning myself and trying to only go every other time) I go with Claudy. It gives us great time to chat as we commute. Honestly--it's so great to spend so much time with Claudy. Before, we would only see each other about an hour a day. Now it's heaven seeing him so much! Then, I drop him off and finish the drive to my parents. I feed Carter, and then hand him off. I don't even have to burp him or change his diaper. I head straight to bed and my parents love on Carter while I get some shut eye. My Dad then does my wash while I sleep. I awake to a delicious meal my mother has made, folded and fresh laundry, I eat, feed Carter and hit the road. My mom even packs a dinner for Claudy! Then I pick Claudy up, we enjoy the commute home together and I'm so refreshed!

I only wish Claudy had somewhere to go to nap and rest. Poor guy is doing finales and working. No rest for him!

It's perfect! Carter gets spoiled, I get some rest, wash and some delicious food. It's also been soo good for me because it forces me to get dressed and be ready by the afternoon. It forces me to practice driving with Carter in the car (started when he was four days old--I was WHITE KNUCKLING the steering wheel) and to practice just getting outside of the apartment. It gives me adult conversation and it's great to spend time with my parents and for Carter to be held and loved by his awesome grandparents. It's a win-win (at least from my point of view, guess you'd have to ask my parents :)

Basically, it's been wonderful. I know it's work for my parents, but I sure do appreciate it.

I have been so spoiled and I recognize it.

I have such thoughtful, giving parents. They are good examples of how I can serve Carter.

New Mommy Truism #3

2011-12-14T20:12:00.000-08:00

How good your day was is directly proportional to how good your hygeine is.

Not so good day--only brushed my teeth.

OK day--brushed my teeth and brushed my hair.

Good day--brushed my teeth, hair and showered quickly.

Great day--brushed my teeth, hair, took a long shower and was able to shave.

I think the hubs only has to look at me to see if Carter napped or not :)

Breastfeeding is the DEVIL/DIABLO/SATAN

2011-12-12T08:20:00.001-08:00

I think I've decided breastfeeding is worse than labor. This is continual, non-stop and there is no epidural! Instead of waterboarding as a form of torture, they should just use breastfeeding.

I understand not everyone will want to read this; but, shortly before I delivered, I read a blog post on breastfeeding challenges and outcomes from a fellow blogger and it totally helped/prepared me. So, I will divulge (not crazy, personal details though) and hope it helps someone else, and perhaps, it will at least let me vent a little.

I know breastfeeding is great for your baby (nothing against those who do formula--totally your choice--no judging here).However, I feel it's kinda hush-hush in our culture. All I ever really heard about breastfeeding was that you need a good 'latch', it shouldn't hurt if you're doing it 'right' (whatever that means) and that you should do it. I'm not saying we should do it just out in the open and I want to watch everyone do it--but when you're preggo, they should totally prepare you more. Or, was I the only one living under a rock? Did I miss the breast boat somewhere?

I had no idea what it should look like--what a 'latch' was and how hard it would be. Even though I tried to read up on it, I think no drawing can sufficiently prepare you.

The frustrating part for me, was that I knew I would want a lactation consultant from the get-go at the hospital to start off on the right foot. But, because it was a holiday there was none. So, I asked the nurses to watch and they told me he was doing great!

Then, why the toe-curling, excruciating pain? Feeding that evening and night was NOT fun.

Thankfully a lactation consultant came the next day and even she was frustrated and spent over an hour with us. His tongue went back (didn't know it needed to go forward) and his mouth needed to be stretched because he didn't open enough, and from doing it wrong all night he had already developed some bad habits. Lovely.

After trying everything up the lactation consultant's sleeve, she suggested that I use a nipple shield and even use a bottle to widen his mouth. We had to use a syringe and pump formula into his mouth while he tried to nurse to make sure that he got enough fluid. It literally took both me and Claudy to feed him. But after the lactation consultant left, I felt like I still had tons of questions and wasn't sure what to do next. She said I had deep bruising and that lanolin cream wouldn't do it, so I needed a prescription grade cream called Newman's ointment. I'd totally recommend it. While super helpful, it's a pain because you have to wash it off before you feed, so I haven't been the best at applying it. But I like it way more than lanolin because it's not so thick and easier to apply.

After a few days of wanting to scream, punch a wall and shout profanities (I did a few times--oops, burning Carter's ears!) every time he nursed, I went to see a lactation consultant again. I would totally recommend it. It seems, to our private culture, weird to have a stranger look at your chest while you feed your child--it was totally worth it. She taught me so much. Finally--I knew what it should feel like, look like, and how to correct it if he was doing it wrong. I had been terrified to pull him off before, or touch him once he was on, even if he was on wrong--which was bad, but I didn't know better. She taught me how to listen to see if he was actually swallowing. It literally breathed hope into me again and made me feel like I could do it. She also told me I shouldn't have been using the shield every single time for the entire time--but no one had told me that. And what a pain to use the shield--it did help, but having to always wash it off and find it when your child is screaming of hunger was not cool. She also taught me early hunger cues, so I didn't have to wait until he was crying to feed him. She was a lifesaver.

Then, I had another awesome life raft thrown to me. This incredibly nice girl in my ward asked me how I was doing at breastfeeding. How nice to ask! She came over and brought me her favorite cream, cups, shield...etc. and just listened and answered questions. It was so nice to not just have people give you a pat on the head for trying, but someone who was like--yeah, it sucks and it hurts and you can do this, and this is my experience, even if it's different from yours. I thought it was soo thoughtful and nice of her, and the smoothie she brought was a cherry on top. We girls need to look out for each other!

However, the glitz and glam of the lactation consultant appointment soon wore off when I got cracks, and I was still so sore from doing it wrong for so long.

Seriously? Who thought of this???

Let's take a sensitive area of the body and use that to feed your child who have a VORACIOUS appetite and suck. Barracuda. Why can't I feed from my elbow or somewhere more calloused??

And then, when you have an open wound--never let it rest or heal because they have to eat every 3 hours. That's a great idea, right?

I have seriously dreaded every three hours. Then, while it's happening the 10ish minutes that I'm doing it I'm just counting down.

It seems like it never ends.

I always told myself I'd stick it out and do it for the first year, but that just seems like so, impossibly far away.

If you stuck with breastfeeding--how did you do it? Were you glad you did?

I think I will because I'm stubborn and incredibly cheap. Formula is soo expensive and we don't have a dishwasher. The few times I've pumped because I couldn't bear another feeding and had to hand wash the bottle made me not want to bottle feed.

He's 2 and a half weeks old, and I can say I'm finally toughening up--but what a rocky and painful road. I'm still uber sore, but it's not as intense.

Let's just say that I'm going to educate and teach my younger sister. Why my mom and other women never explained it to me or prepared me further kinda still frustrates me. All you hear is--are you breastfeeding? That's great. Instead of, how are you doing? Do you want to cut your breasts off? Have you tried a shield, Newman's ointment...etc.

Come on ladies--let's help each other out.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a naked African tribe--that way I'd be more familiar and breastfeeding would be out in the open so I wouldn't have had such a clueless and flailing attempt.

There. I feel better, at least...emotionally. The chest area...not so much.

But, if I had to find a silver lining, it would be that I'm 2 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. So, thank you breastfeeding for helping me loose weight. That's about all the credit I can give you.

Image taken from here.

New Mommy Truism #2

2011-12-11T12:40:00.001-08:00

No matter how much strategic planning, deep thinking, good intentions, hours of meditation, plotting, check and re-checking your diaper bag, you WILL in fact forget something.

Completely hypothetical situation: you forget your child's diaper rash cream, and don't remember until you change him and see his poor bum is the color of Rudolph's nose at your husband's work Christmas party. #fail.

New Mommy Truism #1

2011-12-10T09:21:00.001-08:00

These are mostly 'no-duh' to more experienced moms--but I'm starting a little collection of the fun life lessons I'm learning in my new role as a mother.

New Mommy Truism #1: Diapers will always fill up, the minute you've changed them.

Seeing as Carter DESPISES getting his diaper changed (I'm talking he screams bloody murder--I'm pretty sure our neighbors will be calling child protective services because he sounds like we're torturing him) it's the worst sound in the world to finally get him changed, calmed down and then hear a huge, juicy, squirt. Sigh.