Pondering Patience

Yes. Unfortunately I’ve been pondering that dirty p-word. Patience. It tastes likes dirty gym socks in my mouth. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never had it and thus we’ve constantly been at olds since I was little.

How does one get this ever so elusive quality? Are you just born with it and the rest of us are left to languish over things that take WAY too long?

I keep thinking…what if I study up on it? But something tells me it takes more than book knowledge to acquire this incredibly hard virtue. Can it only be learned through the trials and hard knocks of life? That doesn’t seem very fun. Then do I really want it?

So what am I left to do? Pray for it? I feel like that will be asking for trials. Cue plagues and desolation to rain down on me. Seriously can I learn it some other way? Isn’t there some kind of spark notes out there on patience?

It’s like I know in my head what to do when it comes to patience, but I can’t quite get my nerves or my heart to follow through with its wisdom.

I get all sorts of anxiety when I think how much schooling Claudy has left, or when we should have kids…etc. My stomach goes in knots, and I start to feel sick. I wish it would all just be over with! I wish I’d wake up and Claudy would be in his career and we’d already have kids and be on the hum-dee-dum path of regular life complete with a mortgage and the daily grind of knowing that a lot of your hard decisions are behind you.

But then I hear my teenage sister wish how she was grown up, or my single brother wish he was married and I want to slap them. Don’t you know to enjoy these fun years? If you’re like this now, you’ll always want to move on to the next stage of life and never be happy. Life will pass you by.

So why can’t my heart accept my own words and learn to calm down about the future?

Help.

I know I joke around a lot, but if any of you feel you have an ounce of patience, or feel like you know how to you got a point where you have found out how to be patient I'd really like to hear.