Mom-less

I think I've decided why heaven is considered so great, grand and wonderful.  It's not because the streets may be lined with gold, or as some of my friends and family members hope, having Dr. Pepper free flowing from never ending fountains.  I think I've decided it's because time and space will not keep us from our loved ones.  Whether we'll have wings, or be able to do the "I Dream of Genie" nod and pop here and there I think the fact that we can flit from family member to family member will be, well, heavenly.

I used to be so independent!  There was not even a second thought about going to college in another state.  There wasn't hesitation of living on another continent for a study abroad.  I had big plans of leaving the nest, conquering the world.  I've even tried to convince Claudy to join the army to get free schooling AND for the bonus of hopefully having to move A LOT.  I thought traveling sounded oh, so fun.

 Apparently that girl is still out on vacation and the one taking her place is crying that her mom has moved. I'm so lucky to have a great mom and know that any good quality I have as a mother comes from her wonderful example.

My parents moved to Utah the summer before my junior year.  It was perfect!  I was able to do the whole "move away" when I went to college.  Once I had gotten that out of my system and realized that I missed Sunday dinners and free wash they were here!  And it was excellent timing because that was the time Claudy and I started seriously dating, so they were able to meet him, be here for the wedding and all of the times in between.

Don't get me wrong.  I wasn't going home every weekend.  Sometimes it'd even be 2 months in between.  But my parents were here for every holiday and any other time we needed them.  They lived almost 50 minutes away by car, so they weren't our next door neighbors, but good enough.  

I figured I would be the one to leave them, whenever Claudy got into grad school.  I guess that's why it was a bit of a shocker that my dad got a job in Green Bay, Wisconsin and that they are now, suddenly gone.  And not just gone, as in a drive away.  As in, there are no direct flights, take-all-day-long-to-fly-there gone.

I think what really did me in was having a baby of my own.  It was easy to picturing me and Claudy striking off somewhere far and distant and having a grand adventure.  But having a child somehow grounds you.  Makes you more realistic, good or bad.  And suddenly I really wanted to be around my parents.  I was going to my parents three times a week for the first month, and twice a week right up until they moved.  I so looked forward to some adult conversation with my mom.  I really feel having Carter brought us even closer.

I was super close with my grandparents growing up.  I had the joy of having both sides in the same town.  As a teenager I would often just drive over to my Grandma and Grandpa Egberts just to hang out with them because I enjoyed their company so much (and the bottomless candy dishes and homemade cookies didn't hurt!)  I spent every birthday going out to the dinner of my choice with my Grandma Sargent.  There were cousin sleep overs, camping trips, pot lucks and holiday get-togethers. So many good memories center on family.  

And here we are, family-less.  

After I had Carter my parents were SO much help.  And I loved seeing them with him.  I want him to have that same relationship I had with my grandparents.  And selfishly, I want the help.

I just think no one can take care of you like your mom!  When Claudy points out that he hasn't lived by his family in more than a decade, and even though it's a fair point, I shrug.  I'm sure they'd be wonderful to live by because they're great people.  But no one is like your own family.  I just don't know if anyone could be as thoughtful and full of service like my parents.  Who else wants to do my wash?  Make me dinner?  Hold my baby so I can sleep?  Take me out to dinner?  

 Yes, I need to grow up.  Yes, I have my own family to take care of instead of getting taken care of.  Yes, those things aren't pertinent to your survival.  

But they're OH SO NICE.

When I had to say goodbye to my mom last week I sobbed.  And pretty much cried the whole way home.  Carter was more composed than I was!

I'm so lucky to live in a day where there is Skype, email, Facebook and other ways to keep in touch.  But it won't be the same.

I know TONS of people don't live by their families and they have happy, productive lives.  And the fact that we belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints where there are ward families, visiting teaching and lots of service can make up for a lot.

But at the moment, I kinda don't want to be OK with it.  I will eventually.  

I'll even count my blessings eventually.  Like the fact that I have wonderful parents.  And the fact that I have a close relationship with them. I realize not everyone can say that.  And the time that I had with them was wonderful.  I'm so grateful they were here for the time Carter was a newborn.  I don't know how I would have gotten along without them.

And yes, we probably could move out to where they are once Claudy is done with school.  But Green Bay?  GREEN BAY?  Why couldn't they have moved somewhere WARM?  

I guess only time will tell.  And in the meantime I'll cherish the memories I had with them, and know not to take for granted any future ones we make.

Traveling with a babe

We recently visited North Carolina to see Claudy's parents.  I was terrified to fly with Carter, especially because we had a two hour lay over, had to switch planes and fly from midnight to 8 a.m. 

For those who have not flown with a young one, let me tell you a few things I learned along the way.

---Security is a pain!  Having to take down the stroller, car seat and take your sleeping baby out is a hassle.  Not to mention all while taking your shoes off etc.  Like I'm going to stick crack in my baby's stroller.  Seriously.

---Plane seats seem even smaller than before!  I thought planes were cramped before, but with your diaper bag stuffed to the brim with everything you thought you might need, as well as the babe and their blanket you feel like a sardine!

---Part of me wished we had flown when he was still an infant cuz they'll sleep through anything.  He could NOT sleep in the airport.  It was too bright, too many people and too much noise.  He is wayyy too observant now to tune that out.  He had quite a few meltdowns while we were waiting for our next plane.  But, at the same time, I loved that he was old enough to know the difference between night and day so I wasn't up every 2 hours during our vacation and be a little bit more alert for the grandparents.  A double edged sword.  Anyone have a favorite age to travel with? Either way, it was what it was and I guess I don't know any different.

---Don't plan to sleep on the plane.  I used to be able to sleep on any flight, at any time.  Carter was a champ at sleeping on the plane (BLESSINGS!), but since I didn't dare wake him I ended up with dead bum and didn't dare move aka get comfortable enough to sleep.  The problem was I was exhausted.  Planes ALWAYS make me sleepy even at 1 in the afternoon, so having a red eye I was bobbing and weaving and desperately wanting to sleep but not able to.  Not a fun combo!  I really wish they'd let you buy a seat for them and allow you to put them in their car seat.  Holding them for so many hours is a little exhausting.  And it's not like you can be like when you were babyless and think to yourself "Oh well, I'll just sleep it off when I get there" because you're still getting up every few hours to feed and diaper them, so it's hard to get caught up.

---Even though he was sleeping so well, I was anxious and paranoid he'd wake up and scream so I couldn't relax much.

---I purchased a used Udder Cover for nursing in public.  It turned out to be a great shield/tent as well.  I kept it on the entire flight because it blocked any light and kept it nice and warm and dark for him.  

---You will suddenly be annoyed and notice how much the captain and stewardesses like to talk over the intercom!  I was like "seriously...do you need to announce THAT?"  I think it goes without saying that there is turbulence.  I was so nervous because he would stir every time they would announce something.

---I was so grateful that I was nursing, even if just for this one trip.  Our flight home was delayed 3 hours.  So it was a total of 10 hours to get home.  I can't imagine how many dirty bottles we would have had and what a pain it would have been to constantly be buying bottled water...etc.  I'm sure it's doable, but it was so nice and comforting to him to nurse.  I've never nursed in public before, and hope that I don't have to again.   I know that some people have no problems and think you should flaunt it, but I'm private about it and think it's awkward.  Once I got over it, it was so convenient.  It also lessened the things we had to pack which was nice.  I wouldn't want to be washing bottles on my vacation.

---I pumped a bottle beforehand to have handy in case I wasn't able to nurse and we had to be taken to a special security screening area.  They took the bottle into another room and inspected it for some time.  Goodness!  I hated feeling like we had done something wrong.  I wanted to joke that it was only full of antibodies and protein, but they didn't seem like the joking type.

 ---Even though the stroller was one more thing we had to take I was grateful for it--it seemed our terminals were at the opposite ends of the Charlotte airport and it was nice to be able to push him and put things on the stroller rather than carry him in the car seat.  Not to mention we went on a nice walk when we were in NC.

All in all, though it went well, it made me not want to travel with kids again.  The stuff you need!  I think our suitcase was 1/4 me AND Claudy's stuff and 3/4 stuff for Carter. 

I seriously had the thought when we were so tired, getting home at 3 a.m. and still needing to feed and get him ready for bed and get him all back on schedule that I never want to travel with a baby again!  However, that's really not possible, because before long he'll be older--which I hear is harder because then you're dealing with them squirming to run around and throwing tantrums.  And then before long we'll have another kid.  I can't imagine traveling with more than one!

So, basically, it's not travel for like the next ten years.  But--since both of our families are far away (Green Bay and North Carolina and Boston) that's not possible. 

At least we learned a lot.  But I'm not ready to travel with kids again anytime soon!

If you have any further tips we missed out on, let me know!

Chocolate Mousse Crunch Top Cake

Thank you Our Best Bites!  This was a fun, showy piece.  We had people over for dinner and I didn't want the same ol' same ol'.  When I pulled it out of the fridge our guests fainted with delight  Ok, only in my head.  But a girl can dream, right?? :)

I was afraid that it would be too difficult, but the ganache was a breeze and the mousse wasn't too hard. The mousse was nice and light.  I just love a good mousse!  I'll be sure to keep this reciep for a bake sale, or for a Friday.  The hubs must have had 5 pieces!  You know he likes a dessert when he goes to the trouble to pack it in his lunch.

And the best part...it uses a box mix.  Woot, woot!

Hope you like it as well!

Chocolate Mousse Crunch Cake
Directions and recipe by Our Best Bites

 

1 package Duncan Hines Devil’s Food Cake

1 recipe (give or take a little) Chocolate Ganache

Crushed Heath bars or a bag of chocolate-covered Heath bits (found in the baking isle by the chocolate chips)

1 tsp. unflavored gelatin

1 Tbsp. cold water

2 Tbsp. boiling water (just heat it in a small bowl in your microwave)

1/2 c. sugar

1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder

1 c. whipping cream

1 tsp. vanilla

 

Directions

Bake cake according to cake mix instructions in 2 8″ round pans. Allow to cool and set aside. This can be done several days in advance; just freeze the cakes when you’re done.

In a small bowl, combine gelatin and cold water and allow to stand for about 1 minute. While gelatin is softening, bring 2 Tbsp. water to a boil in the microwave. Whisk into the softened gelatin and allow to cool slightly.

In a medium mixing bowl, combine sugar, cocoa powder, whipping cream, and vanilla. Beat with an electric mixer until medium-stiff peaks form. Mix in gelatin mixture and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Prepare ganache (if you haven’t already) according to directions.

With a serrated knife, carefully slice the dome-iest part of each cake layer off so the layers are level. Place one layer on the serving plate and spread about 1/2 of the chocolate mousse over the cake. Sprinkle with Heath bits.

Place second layer on top of Heath bits.

Spoon ganache over the top layer, allowing it to drip down the sides.  Sprinkle with additional Heath bits and refrigerate until ready to serve.

 

YUMMO!

Hip, Hip, Hooray!

Carter must have read my previous post about having him cry it out, because he has been a sleep angel!  The last three nights he's gone down without so much as a whimper.  I've never even had to go back to check on him.  I give him a kiss and he's even awake, but yet I never hear from here for...drum roll please....8 whole hours.  That's two nights in a row of ocho hours of sleep.  Luck don't fail me now!

I knew that threatening was a viable and useful parenting technique*!  Thank you Carter! Keep it up!

*Please know I am kidding!

Quick Italian Turkey Soup

YUM!  My beef with soups is just that--they lack beef or at least filling protein.  However, this soup was so packed I would almost consider it a casserole.  It had the protein from the beans and turkey and it was packed with veggies.  AND pasta.  This soup thought of everything.  And the flavor was outstanding.  And it was easy.  Need I say more??

Definitely making this again.

Quick Italian Turkey Soup

Recipe and directions adapted from Six Sisters Stuff 

Ingredients:

1-2 T olive oil

1 lb ground turkey (I used shredded turkey from last night's turkey breast. I think this was much better, but I'm sure ground would do in a pinch)

1 small onion, diced (I used half of a large onion)

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 T dry Italian seasoning (I took it from this packet that can be found near the salad dressings)

1 t salt

1/2 t pepper

1 (15 oz) can stewed tomatoes, Italian style

1 (15 oz) can Great Northern white beans, drained and rinsed

3 (14 oz) cans low sodium beef broth (I used 6 cups of water and 6 tsp. beef bouillon)

1 t dry oregano

1 T dried parsley

1 cup cooked garden rotini (or any kind of pasta)

1 cup shredded carrots (I liked diced instead--made it seem chunkier)

1 medium zucchini, thinly sliced (I quartered it, I think it's better chunky than thin and wispy)

1 (10 oz) package fresh spinach (about 5 cups), chopped (I forgot to get this ingredient.  I'm sure it adds and gives good nutrition but it was great without it)

Grated Parmesan cheese (I didn't add this--no need for extra calories when it's already delicious!)

Directions:

Pour olive oil into large stock pot and turn on burner to medium-high heat.

When oil it hot, add onions, garlic, ground turkey, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Cook until turkey is completely cooked  Or, if using left over, shredded turkey breast, mix until the softened onions and garlic are incorporated into the meat.

In separate pot, boil pasta in salt water.  Once soft, drain and set aside.  I decided to not add mine to the main soup mixture because I hate it when pasta gets water logged and too mushy.  I just kept my pasta in a separate container and added it with every serving of soup so the pasta was fresher.

Add canned tomatoes (including juice), beans (drained and rinsed), carrots, zucchini, broth, parsley and oregano. Reduce heat to simmer and simmer for 10-15 minutes (or until carrots and zucchini are cooked).

Add spinach and stir until wilted. Add additional salt and pepper to taste.

Top each serving with Parmesan cheese.

The Ever Elusive Sleep

On days when Carter is soo cute and cuddly I think to myself "I could have ten kids, this is so wonderful."

And then, the night comes.  And I think, "He'll be lucky if he has any siblings!"

I think the hardest part so far for me has been the lack of sleep.  I don't mind the poop, crying or other parts.  Just the sleep.

Sometimes he naps soo wonderfully.  Sometimes he'll sleep 6,7, and he even did 8 hours the other night.

Then, for no apparent reason he'll wake up every three hours wanting to feed, or crying because he's moved himself into an uncomfortable position.  

I sure wish there was a rhyme or reason to when he has bad nights.  Thankfully they're not all of the time, but often enough!  

A recent sleep book that I've read is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and it says that you can start letting them cry it out between 4-6 months.  Last night Carter made a good case for 4 months!

If you did let your children cry it out (no matter the method) what age did you start?

I don't think he'll need to cry it out every night because sometimes he's great, but I know I may need to every once in awhile.

New Mommy Truism #7

You may never shower in peace again.  If you need to wash yourself when you're alone with the baby you will constantly be straining your ears to see if they're crying--no matter how many times you saw they were dead asleep before you climbed into the tub.

Your shower routine will look something like this:

Scrub, scrub....was that?

Stop.  Nah.

Rinse, rinse...did I hear?

No.

Shave, shave (if you dare shower long enough to clean up your amazon woman legs)...is that?

No.  The baby is not crying.

But I could have sworn...

That's it.  I'm waiting until the hubs is home to shower next time!

 You run out and see he's still passed out, the exact way you left him.

Next time rolls around, and you'd rather hang out with the hubs.  Rinse.  Repeat scenario.

I swear I sometimes hear phantom cries--and I'm sure my worry that he'll need me when I'm all soapy doesn't help either.

However, while he can't talk yet, since he has to be held close to me, even if he had to cry for a few minutes, I'm sure he appreciates me taking time away from him to wash the stench off of me.

But on days when I don't--it's only payback for the stinky diapers he has me smell.  ;)